What to Say at a Persian Table: Nush-e Jan and the Phrases That Go With It

What does nush-e jan actually mean, and who says it?

It is the sentence Persian speakers tend to say to somebody who is eating. Roughly: may this be sweet to you, may it go into your life. Nush is the sweet draught, and jan is life, or soul, or the word you attach to a person's name when you love them. Out loud it is noosh-eh JAAN, the second word long and open. Many families say noosh-e joon instead, which is the same phrase worn in.

The part most often got back to front is the direction. You would not normally say nush-e jan about your own plate. It goes to other people while they eat, and whoever cooked or carried the food usually says it to the table. If somebody thanks you for something you made or brought, nush-e jan works on its own as a full and gracious answer.

When do you say it, and when is the moment gone?

It is not a starting gun that everybody waits for. It can be said several times across one long meal, by different people, and nothing is spoiled when nobody says it at all.

• When the bowls land and somebody picks up their bread.
• When a latecomer starts eating and the rest of you are halfway through.
• Mid-meal, to somebody who has clearly just had a good mouthful.
• At the end of a message or a note about food, where it works as a sign-off.

The moment is mostly gone once the table is cleared, and even then you will hear it, half as a joke, aimed at whoever is still finishing.

What is befarmaeed, and why does it turn up at every door?

Say it be-far-MAA-yid. It is the most useful word here because it is not really about food at all. It carries please, go ahead, after you.

At the table it means take some, start, help yourself. At a doorway it means you first. Handing over a glass of tea, a plate, a set of keys, it is the word that goes with your hand. On a phone call it means go on, I am listening. Among family and close friends the short form befarma tends to do the same job with the collar loosened.

It sits close to the ritual back-and-forth of offering and refusing, a whole custom of its own that we are not going to re-run here. Our guide to the sofreh, tarof and how a Persian table works covers the custom; this page is only the words.

How do you thank whoever cooked?

With dast-e sho-MAA dard na-ko-neh — dast-e shoma dard nakone, may your hand not hurt. It is aimed at the work rather than the result, which is why it tends to reach further than a compliment. It goes to the person who cooked, the person who carried the tray, the person who cleaned the trotters at an hour nobody wants to think about. Among friends it usually shortens to dastet dard nakone.

In many families the reply is close to fixed: sar-e sho-MAA dard na-ko-neh — sar-e shoma dard nakone, may your head not hurt. If somebody says the first line to you, that is the line back, and it lands well even said slowly. Not every family runs the pair. Plenty answer with a nod and a warm thank-you, and that has never been wrong either.

What do you say to somebody who is working?

khas-TEH na-baa-SHEED — khaste nabashid, may you not be tired. It goes to the person behind the counter, the rider at your door, anybody visibly at the end of a long stretch. The kh is made at the back of the throat, nearer the sound in the Scottish word loch than a plain k.

A common answer is salamat bashid, be well. Some Iranians will tell you the phrase is worn thin from overuse. They may well be right, and it is still what most people say.

Is it mamnoon, merci, or something else?

All of them, depending on who raised you. This is register, not a rule, and it shifts by family, by city and by generation.

• Merci, said mer-SEE, was borrowed generations ago and is thoroughly at home. It is heard constantly in Iran.
• Mamnoon, said mam-NOON, is the neutral one that works almost anywhere. Kheyli mamnoon is thank you very much.
• Sepasgozaram is the formal, written-feeling one. Correct, but heavier than most tables need.
• Damet garm, roughly may your breath be warm, is the informal one, kept for friends rather than for an elder you have just met.

Which small words carry a whole meal?

Three, learnable between the car and the door: salam, bebakhshid and khoda hafez. Here they are with the rest, in one place.

Naming the food itself is a separate vocabulary and it belongs at the counter, not at the table. For that, see pointing at the piece you want in Farsi or Arabic. The name of the dish has its own traps, which how to say kalle pache out loud sorts out.

What happens if you get one wrong?

Nothing. That is the honest answer and it matters more than the phrases do. Mispronounce it, use the friendly form with somebody's grandmother, say nush-e jan at a slightly odd moment — nobody is keeping score, and most people are quietly pleased you tried.

Half a phrase said warmly beats a perfect phrase said carefully. If the occasion is a big one, our briefing on meeting a Persian family over kalle pache deals with the rest of the nerves.

Where can you try any of this in Dubai?

At a table with lamb broth on it. Shaun the Sheep is at 64 Jumeira Street in Jumeirah 1, open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, with the broth simmered about fourteen hours and Sangak Bread on the sides list. The entrance is wheelchair accessible.

Say salam on the way in and khaste nabashid to whoever is working. If you would rather stay home, there is pickup and delivery across 141 Dubai areas, with the fee for your area shown at checkout, and you can schedule an order for later, including a dawn one. The whole site reads in English, Arabic and Farsi, so you can order in the language you think in from the menu. Anything else, call 04 321 8882 and ask. Nush-e jan.